A Generated Story Of Epic Lulz
by spirit-creature
Summary: This was created by a story generator. Prepare for randomness galore and buckets of lulz when two men fight over the most precious item in the world. Rated T for some language and exceedingly strange violence.


This story was generated at www(dot)the-elite(dot)net/---/story/.  
Credits are listed at the end.  
This could be a total crack fanfic. XD

Enjoy and make your own story at the website!

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It all started when our adventure-loving...adventurer, L, woke up in a bush. It was the seventh time it had happened. Feeling barely worried, L slapped a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Before anyone could take off their pants, he realized that his beloved yaoi manga was missing! Immediately he called his undeclared soulmate, Watari. L had known Watari for (plus or minus) 20 years, the majority of which were exotic ones. Watari was unique. He was outgoing though sometimes a little... oafish. L called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Watari picked up to a very unhappy L. Watari calmly assured him that most disease-carrying chipmunks sigh before mating, yet venomous koalas usually scandalously panic *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting L. Why was Watari trying to distract L? Because he had snuck out from L's with the yaoi manga only eleven days prior. It was a sassy little yaoi manga... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before L got back to the subject at hand: his yaoi manga. Watari turned red. Relunctantly, Watari invited him over, assuring him they'd find the yaoi manga. L grabbed his giraffe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Watari realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the yaoi manga and he had to do it recklessly. He figured that if L took the magic flying carpet, he had take at least six minutes before L would get there. But if he took the elevator? Then Watari would be very screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Watari was interrupted by four stupid dead chickens that were lured by his yaoi manga. Watari shuddered; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling puzzled, he deftly reached for his dull pencil and recklessly hit every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the swamp, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the elevator rolling up. It was L.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of dangerous oil-soaked rags, so he knew he was running late. With a apt leap, L was out of the elevator and went surreptitiously jaunting toward Watari's front door. Meanwhile inside, Watari was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the yaoi manga into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. Watari was stunned but at least the yaoi manga was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Watari charismatically purred. With a apt push, L opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some funny-smelling self-righteous ass in a spaceship,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Watari assured him. L took a seat frighteningly close to where Watari had hidden the yaoi manga. Watari turned red trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But L was distracted. Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, Watari noticed a clueless look on L's face. L slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Watari felt a stabbing pain in his scalp when L asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the yaoi manga right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A insensitive look started to form on L's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet long-haired sea monkeys. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. L nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Watari could react, L recklessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The yaoi manga was plainly in view.

L stared at Watari for what what must've been seven millseconds. A few freaknasty minutes later, Watari groped surreptitiously in L's direction, clearly desperate. L grabbed the yaoi manga and bolted for the door. It was locked. Watari let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, L,' he rebuked. Watari always had been a little selfish, so L knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Watari did something crazy, like... start chucking live hand grenades at him or something. Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, he gripped his yaoi manga tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Watari looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from L. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for L. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Watari walked over to the window and looked down. L was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, L was struggling to make his way through the imaginary desert behind Watari's place. L had severely hurt his kidney during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral dead chickens suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the yaoi manga. One by one they latched on to L. Already weakened from his injury, L yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of dead chickens running off with his yaoi manga.

About eight hours later, L awoke, his shin throbbing. It was dark and L did not know where he was. Deep in the broad lemur-infested moor, L was really lost. Before anyone could take off their pants, he remembered that his yaoi manga was taken by the dead chickens. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a teensy dead chicken emerged from the bush. It was the alpha dead chicken. L opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the dead chicken sunk its teeth into L's double chin. With a faint groan, the life escaped from L's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

Less than five miles away, Watari was entombed by anguish over the loss of the yaoi manga. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened ninja star. With a careful thrust, he buried it deeply into his taint. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about L... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the yaoi manga that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant dead chickens, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(

LOLz!!1

*** L337 Story Generator v1.0

*** Written by Derek Clark. Copyright © ~ 2004-2005

*** Forever pwning with earnest.


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